It's not about perfect, it's about effort!

The last few weeks have been hit and miss with calorie counting and exercise. 
Good & bad days, but mostly bad. 
I have this REALLY terrible habit of getting on the scale every morning and getting disappointed for a split second that I'm STILL FAT!!! FRUMPY.
Then that beast in my head kicks in... 
"Guess what buttercup, you can't hope more than you work.  
If you eat like a hogger, you will probably weigh what a hog weighs.  
If you sit on the computer chair for hours a day and don't move, your ass will probably grow!"
.......Damn..... she's just not nice.

You will be happy to know that I am feeling MUCH more motivated as of the last few days.  
I'm telling you, if you don't have an accountability buddy, FIND ONE.  
Having someone to "report" to motivates me to make healthy decisions.

Soooo, what you've all (by all, I mean all 2 of you who read my blog) been waiting for! 
When I "started" in the middle of June, I weighed 164 lbs.  
As of this morning, I am down to 157.4.  
I have lost about 6.5 lbs.  

Is that good for a month and a half?
No. It sucks.  
BUT like I said, I feel like I've finally found some motivation, so hopefully the coming updates will be good ones! 
I vow to check in EVERY MONDAY yes... that's a lie.  I'll probably get busy and forget... with weight and progress, maybe pictures in a few weeks! 

As for my game plan... 

21 day NO JUNK FOOD challenge? 
Day 2 down! No temptations!!

3rd day under my calorie goal in a row!  

Started 30DS again tonight! Baby steps people...  
 
I have said before, I LOVE 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels.  
Is it fun? 
No. It sucks ass.  
It's hard.  
It makes me want to barf. 
& ninja kick Jillian in the head.
BUT Google "30 day shred results" and you will know why I continue to torture myself.
IT WORKS.  
Best part? 
It works FAST.  
Second best part? 
It's only 24 minutes.

I wanted to share my awesome 30DS calendar.  You don't have to do 30 days straight without rest days, I have never done this program without rest days.  I usually do it 4-5 times a week and add some elliptical and other cardio and strength training in there. 

Hang this calendar on your bathroom mirror, every time you do a work out, X it out.  
Seeing it every day will help keep you motivated to keep going!

"It's not about perfect, it's about effort.  & when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens.  That's how change occurs" - Jillian Michaels

Catch up time!

I promise, I haven't ditched my blog.  While I try to stay caught up on life, it always seems like I'm 100 steps behind! 

Update on the whole exercise and eating healthy thing... 

Lets just say I kind of suck a little. 

I didn't fall off of the wagon immediately, it was more of a looking over the side of the wagon, then hanging off the wagon, then dragging behind, then they forgot something and backed over me, then ran me over again when the wagon started moving forward, and now here I lay all frumpy in the middle of the road.  [As I'm telling this story, I'm totally imagining the Oregon Trail & I have NO idea why... bahahaha.   Me in my little bonnet and too tight pioneer dress laying in the road... Yes, It's 1AM and I'm delusional.] 

So... The good news about my efforts.  I have lost 4 lbs.  

The bad news... I've been eating carbs like their going out of style! 

More bad news... I don't want to bore you, but as some of you know, I was diagnosed with Graves disease in May of 2012, hyperthyroidism (Google pictures... BUG EYES... freaky... thank you all powerful being for sparing me the bug eyes).  I lost 40 lbs in about a month and a half and while I was exercising and eating healthy, obviously my EXTREMELY high thyroid levels helped me out some in the fat loss department.  

Well in July I ended up having my Thyroid removed (it was either that or radiate it and be away from Saige and living beings for 2 weeks... no thanks).  Anyways, one of the main symptoms I was experiencing was rapid pulse.  Your resting heart rate should be around 80 average, runners and those who exercise regularly are often around 60 beats per minute.  My resting heart rate was 160.  It was horrible.  I started the C25K program last April and when I went running a few times I almost passed out and started having really bad chest pains.  Once I took my heart rate after a bout of running and it was 220.  Heart attack level.  NOT GOOD.

So... this could turn into a VERY long story, but to make the long story short... my rapid pulse problem never really went away.  Now the doc thinks it's possibly a birth defect or some other type of problem with my heart.  Not really anything serious, but serious enough that she told me I shouldn't be doing crazy exercise right now, just walking and if I get dizzy, stop.  I'm a nurse, I know I shouldn't exercise and I know that Miss Dixie knows what is best for me, but I'm also super non-compliant and am planning to RESTART 30DS again very soon.  I'm not a TERRIBLE patient... I'm going to order a heart rate monitor and watch everything close while I'm exercising and of course stop if I hit the floor or anything.  (Dix if you're reading this... which I know you aren't cause you are even a billion times busier than me! I LOVE YOU! :) ) 

I had been dreading posting, knowing that I haven't really lost anything and that my damn heart is slowing me down, but now I've posted.  You all know how it is when life gets in the way of exercise.  I'll keep trying till I get something right.  At least I didn't make up some crazy crap to impress you all (although... maybe I should have... ;) ).  I'm a human too.  It might take me a year to lose this weight, but damn it, I will!! 

Glad to get past that.   Now all 2 of my readers will be happy to know that I'm still alive.  Ha! 

This weeks goal? Stay under my calorie goal.  Exercise AT LEAST 4-5 times this week.  I'm finally caught up on jewelry orders (I haven't been for literally like 5 months), so if I can stay on top of that, I'll have a lot more time to exercise! 

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.  I've been kind of down this week... Hoping things improve soon!! 

BTW.  The kids are amazing! 

Saige has started talking in pretty much full sentences, she amazes me every day and she's actually sleeping better! WAHOOOOOO! She's only been waking up about 3 times a night for the last week! 

Swayzee is still the perfect baby.  She sleeps from 10pm till 7am, naps several times a day, and is ALWAYS happy.  The only issue she has is spitting up every five seconds.  We're working on taking care of that so we don't have to continue to change the little munchkin every ten seconds.  She just turned 3 months old, growth is perfect, she's PERFECT! 

I'll try to update soon!

<3 <3 <3 
 

The Game Plan.

So you might be wondering.  What's the plan!? How am I going to lose this weight? 

Well I already explained the importance of calorie counting.  If I don't count calories, I never change my eating.  It is an ABSOLUTE must for me. 

As for exercise.  First lets look at a day in the life of me. 

9 AM - 

Up with the kids.  

Baby starving. 

Saige starving.

Saige needs milk.

Change butts.

Saige...."Mommy I have to pee" Me.... "Okay, so go pee" (she always has to announce it)

Feed the baby.  

Find breakfast for Saige. 

Finally, Mommy gets to go pee ....with an audience of course.

Cartoons on, pick up the living room, get COFFEEEEEE. 

"Mommy, I pooped. It stinnnnnkyyyy" 

Okay.... change big butt. 

Baby poops, change little butt.

Finally sit down for a few minutes around 11. 

11 AM-

Get on Etsy, email, Facebook and check messages for work. 

Who knew I would be working MORE at home, then I did at Stonehenge. It's totally worth it to be home with my kiddo's, but sometimes I wish it wasn't 24/7 and I could leave WORK at WORK.  

Answer all of my messages (takes about an hour with my FB breaks of course). 

12 PM - 

Make lunch. 

Fight Saige to put her pull-up on. 

Give up and start looking for homes in a nudist colony....... jk

Change more butts.  

Clean up the potty pee that Saige so sweetly decided to dump in her Dora kitchen sink.  "Yook Mommy!" uh huh... thanks doll, you're so helpful.  

Baby finally asleep for her nap. 

Saige wakes baby up because she can't stand when anyone in the house sleeps.  It's like a rule.

1-3 PM - 

Clean the house. 

Saige messes up the house.

Clean some more. 

Tornado SAIGE!

Frustrated Mommy. 

SCREAMING tantrum.

Check Etsy messages.... again.

Reorder supplies if I need to. 

Blog!

Change even more butts!

Laundry, dishes, CLEAN some more! 

Around 4 PM, Sometimes as late as 7 or 8 PM -

JJ finally home.  

Looks around like he's wondering what the hell I did all day.  

Really dude? I dare you to open your mouth.  

He doesn't, He's getting smarter.... kind of....

Try to give him a few minutes to wind down from work.  

Some days I just throw the kids at him and hide in the bathroom for an hour depending on my day with Saige.

5 PM - 

JJ usually cooks dinner.  He likes to cook.  I HATE it. 

More Etsy messages and work crap. 

Feeding, changing, barfing, changing clothes, naked Saige!

7 PM - 

Try to get kiddos into the tub.  Doesn't happen every night.  I know, my night routine sucks and this is why Saige doesn't sleep and yada, yada, yada... I can only do so much, ya know?

8 PM - 

Get Saige into bed.  

Sit there with her until she falls asleep since she freaks if we leave, and there's no door on the room to lock her in! 

It usually takes until about 10 PM, if I'm lucky. 

JJ and I switch off with who sits with Saige, the other one tries to get Swayzee to sleep. 

11 PM - 

Both kids are usually finally asleep. 

Saige wakes up every 30 minutes screaming for another two hours. 

Finally, time to stamp. 

Go back and stamp until 2-3 AM. 

Print shipping labels and package everything to ship out in the morning. 

Stare at my order queue that still says 100+ orders and wonder how the hell I'll ever get caught up.  

I won't. Now you know why you have to wait 3 weeks for your order. 

3 AM - 

Feed the baby. 

Change both butts. 

3:30 AM -

MOMMY IS FINALLY ASLEEP! 

6 AM -

Saige up screaming, in bed with Mommy. 

Feed the baby again. 

Change butts. 

9 AM - 

UP FOR THE DAYYYY!!! 

(Now you know why we sleep so late... I have my kids trained. If i didn't, I would die.)

So... what was the point of all of that...? 

It makes it easier for me to try to schedule in some exercise when I can see everything laid out like that.  

As you can see, I get about 5 hours of sleep a night.  This has been my normal for the last two years.  Saige still gets up at least 4-5 times a night.  Sometimes up to 15 times.  It's HARD, but I'm still alive and I'm SUPER happy she is in her own bed. 

So... where do you put exercise into that schedule!? I'm telling you right now, it's pretty much impossible.  I only need SIX more hours a day.  JUST SIX!!  

I keep telling myself, it's taken me 20 minutes, so far, to write this blog post.  That's one time of doing 30 Day Shred.  It's not that easy though.  I want exercise to be Mommy time, not fight Saige time.  She's well.... not very cooperative.  She DOES let me use the elliptical though.  

So... here is my plan. 

First, I plan to do 30 Day Shred from Jillian Michaels.  It's 25 minutes a day. If you've never done it, go buy the video and some 3lb weights.   It kicks your ass and you WILL see big results in 30 days. You're supposed to do it EVERY day, but when I've done the program before, I've always had rest days and it's worked just fine. 

Second, I plan to do the C25K program.  Also a great program.  3 days a week, 30 minutes each time.  You will go from couch potato to running a 5K in 8 weeks.  I plan on signing up for Richfield's Turkey Trot 5K in November and I WILL run the entire thing!!! 

In this shirt.... 

Picture is from THIS  Etsy shop

Third, I plan to throw in bouts of 10-20 minutes on my elliptical anytime I can.  Just cause it looks sad and neglected. 

So how am I going to fit that much exercise in? Honestly, I have no clue.  But I will.  I'm determined.  I want to be a runner and I'm done with this whole being fat thing.  

So ladies... What's your advice? How do you find time for exercise?  I KNOW there are a few of you reading, so tell me what you do!! 

How to start.

It seems like every time I decide I'm going to lose weight, I have to "prepare".  

You do it too.  I know I'm not the only nut job out there. 

I go on the internet and start searching for ways to get healthy.  

Search tumblr for those little motivating exercise pictures of skinny ass women I will NEVER be, not because I "can't", but because it's physically impossible.  I will never have a beautiful tummy again, it pretty much looks like hamburger (YESSSS THEY ARE SO WORTH IT).  That doesn't mean I can't have tight, toned abs, they just might not be pretty to look at. It's a good thing I'm not Saige and I don't live in a nudist colony. In my world, there's this thing called clothes, they cover that stuff up.  

Anyways.

Now we have Pinterest.  I can find all kinds of "healthy" ideas on there.  Recipes, 10 minute work outs, a work out calendar, more motivational pictures (I will be posting those btw because I LIKE them!). 

I start browsing for new equipment.  A heart rate monitor, pedometer, diet books.

I even go shopping.  Have to stock up on healthy food, right? 


By the time I am done "preparing", I have wasted AT LEAST 3-4 hours of time.  What will 3-4 hours give me? 4 hours of kick boxing will give me a calorie burn of 2,749.  You must burn 3,500 calories to lose one pound of fat.  And just in case you were wondering, this is what 1lb of fat looks like.

If I get off my ass and work out for those 3-4 hours instead of "preparing" to lose weight, I could potentially lose enough weight to go from the 160's to the 150's. 

  
So what's different this time from other times I have tried to lose weight? This time I don't feel like I have to prepare.  Ask my husband,  I am the queen of "starting my diet tomorrow".  All I really need to do is START. 

Anyone can lose weight.  It's simple really.  Burn more than you consume.  EAT LESS, EXERCISE MORE.  How exactly do you know that you're burning more than you consume? TRACK EVERYTHING. Write down every single morsel of food that goes into your mouth and keep track of your exercise. The only person you are cheating by filling the measuring cup with a mound of cottage cheese instead of straight across is you, the food police will not arrest you, no one will ever know except for you and your fat cells. AND NO, cleaning the house vigorously does not count as exercise, I don't care what MyFitnessPal says. 

I am fat, but I'm no stranger to weight loss.  I know what I'm talking about.  I'm not a fitness trainer, or professional body builder, but I know what needs to be done to get where I want to be. 

After Saige was born, the exact same thing happened as has happened with little Swayz. 

Pre-pregnancy weight 147 (both times, exactly the same).  
Gained 25-30 lbs during the pregnancy.  
After the pregnancy lost almost 30 lbs.  
Down to about 155.  
Eat like a hefer gain back 10 lbs. 
Get pissed cause I let myself gain that much weight from overeating in a 2 month period.  
Go into weight loss mode.  

Sometimes in order to get motivated to lose weight, something has to click. 

After I had Saige, it was this picture. 

The 4th of July, 2011, my sister in law posted this picture on her FB wall &  I was like shit. I have the opposite of anorexia.  I feel thinner than I am! HA! Seriously though.  It is WAY too easy to get comfortable at an unhealthy weight.  Even though I wasn't uncomfortable to not wear a tank top, you can tell from the picture I wasn't happy. Folding my arms, trying to hide my fat, you can see the insecurity.  I just didn't realize how bad it was until I saw the picture.  [again don't be offended people... if anything you should be offended by my truck driver mouth]

So what did I do? I started counting calories and working out.  I am a FIRM believer that counting calories works.  They make it SO easy now too if you have a smart phone.  All you have to do is download the My Fitness Pal app (there are others out there too, but this is my favorite), open that baby up, and scan the bar codes.  It enters all of your calorie and nutrition info for you.  SUPER EASY.  You really can't screw it up.  

ADD me to your MFP by the way ashbergum. 

I set my calorie limit to 1,300 per day.  I eat back my exercise calories if I feel like it.  So that means if I exercise and burn 300 calories, I can eat 1,600 calories that day.  As long as I'm under my goal of 1,300 per day, I'm good to go.  It really works people.  

So what did counting calories and exercising get me?

4 months later, Nov 2011, I looked like this.

Not too bad for a little work hahaha..little.. and a little bit of food modification. 

In April 2011 I looked like this.  

Down about 40 lbs.  I was in the 120's for the first time since high school.  I was still in a size 9 pants, which goes to show you how important lifting weight is (but that calls for an entirely different post).  I never really got to experiment with weight lifting, because in July of 2012, I got pregnant with my little baby Swayz. 

I know that losing weight is 100% doable.  
Yes, it sucks to exercise.  
It sucks to count calories. 
It sucks to not be able to stuff my face all day and drink gallons of Dr. Pepper.
It's HARD.  
But I have to remember, it's not easy for anyone.
I won't die.

I have to remind myself that "she" doesn't look like that, by sitting on FB all day eating Cookie Butter and drinking Dr. Pepper.  [yes, there are some women who don't have to try to be skinny... *cough cough* my sister. & we hate them .... jk. <3 ].  It might seem unfair, but losing weight isn't just about being skinny, it's about the journey, about finding yourself (under all that fat... bahahaha), it makes you strong. 

So here I am.  again.  All fat...& motivated to get un-fat.